Top 5 tricks for starting a conversation with a stranger


Top 5 tricks for starting a conversation with a stranger

What could be more daunting than starting a conversation with a total stranger? Starting a conversation with a stranger you find massively attractive and desperately want to like you.

Oh gosh, I’m getting anxiety just thinking about it! For introverts, talking to new people can be daunting, especially to someone delectable. We picture every worst case scenario, that usually result in us being shut down, humiliated and wishing we stayed in our safe place.

Being locked down and starved of face to face social interaction definitely hasn’t helped anyone’s social skills.

As someone who had hosting hundreds of events for singles, and at times an introvert myself (sometimes I’m wildly extrovert but that muddle is a whole other post) I think I’ve built up a pretty good list of tactics that will really help anyone who struggles with talking to strangers, get really quite good at it.

1 Visualisation

Before a date or a social gathering the best trick for starting a conversation with a stranger is imaging they types of conversation you’re likely to have.

Practice them in your head. Is there something topical your can bring up as small talk? Weather doing anything interesting (yep can’t go wrong with the weather)? Is there something particular about the person you are going to be talking to that you’d like to find out more about. Let me give you an example…

You are attending a swanky polo event you could easily imaging approaching someone you’re interested in and asking them about the game, complimenting their outfit and finding out where they’ve travelled from. Imaging the conversation flowing nicely and the type of questions that would flow from each answer. Imagining a conversation going well will help steady your nerves and give you ideas to go to if there’s ever any dead air.

2. Practice.

Socialising is like any other skill, it gets better with practice. Use warmup people first, chat to a stranger before a date or to people at an event who you’re not interested in before going in for someone you are. Don’t worry if you seem a little awkward or aggressive at first. If your intentions are authentic, you will come across that way more and more each time you try.

Your first conversations with strangers may feel scary and awkward, but they won’t do any harm. You’ll figure out what you need to work on and you’ll be much better lubricated for the important person.

3. Make it about them.

Another great trick for starting a conversation with a stranger is to talk about their interests, opinions, and ideas. Then respond to what they share.

The best way to keep someone interested in a conversation is to show an interest in their life.

Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Even if you don’t know a lot about a particular subject, keep asking questions to understand them.

4. Make them laugh.

Laughter makes the conversation fun and joyful.  People enjoy talking with others who make them laugh.  But what if you’re not naturally funny? Laugh at their jokes, a lot! We all like people who make us feel more fun so don’t be afraid to giggle, smile a lot when someone is talking and show they what a great sense of humour you have. Here’s a few jokes that might help get some chuckles

5. Try to discover their passion.

Make it your mission to discover what this amazing person is really interested in. If you see their eyes light up when they talk about something, ask more questions about that.

If you find a keyword that helps you figure out their interest, try to talk about that. For example, if you ask “How’s the weather?” They say, “It’s nice that it’s foggy since. It’s better to run in it.” Then you can go ahead and talk about running. See talking about the weather is never wrong.


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